All divorces begin with the filing of a Complaint.  The Complaint identifies the parties and the children of the marriage to the Court.  It tells the Court why you want a divorce.  The Complaint tells the Court what your want and why you want it.  If you file the Compliant, you are the “Plaintiff.”  If you don’t file, you are the “Defendant.”  Plaintiff or Defendant, often times, the children’s primary caregiver will ask the Court for a temporary order of custody and exclusive possession of the marital residence while the divorce is pending.

As you might imagine, living with someone while trying to divorce them may be a bit awkward for some folks.  In cases involving allegations of domestic violence or child abuse, the Court has an interest in removing the alleged offender from the family dwelling while the facts are sorted out.  One party has to move out; it might be you.

Back to the Complaint, once the Court receives and reviews the Complaint, the Court issues what’s commonly known as a “status quo” order.  The Status Quo Order basically orders the parties to keep doing what they are doing to support the children and not dispose of any marital assets.  It also awards liberal visitation to the noncustodial parent when appropriate.

The Complaint must be “personally served” on the Defendant in order to officially kick things off.  A Sheriff’s Deputy normally perfects personal service.  The Deputy finds the Defendant and personally hands him/her a copy of the Divorce Complaint.  This action under the law officially puts the Defendant on notice that he/she is literally being sued for divorce.

It is important to note here that, until the Complaint is served on the Defendant, it is difficult to hold him/her accountable for violating terms of the Status Quo Order.  If the Plaintiff also files for exclusive possession of the marital residence and primary custody of the children while the divorce is pending, a hearing may be necessary for the Court to determine the status/obligations of the parties.  If the Court orders someone to leave the home and that person doesn’t want to go, things can get ugly quickly.

Don’t do this to your children.  Don’t force them to watch the deputies cart you off in handcuffs.  The Court has the authority to make these decisions and the Sheriff has the obligation to enforce the orders.  If you want to fight, save it for the courtroom.  Don’t add to the emotional trauma to your kids by acting out in front of them.  Retain your dignity and exercise your visitation to the fullest.  Sooner or later, the divorce will be over, but your actions in the meantime will have a lasting impact on your children.

If you need help dealing with these types of issues, you can call or email me at 251-445-0891/ron@mcbaylaw.com.

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