One of my favorite phrases from my time with the 20th Special Forces Group (Airborne) is: “cut sling load.” When a helicopter is used to transport heavy equipment, sometimes the load creates a hazard for the aircraft. If the hazard is bad enough, the crew chief will give the command, “Cut sling load!” The cargo is then released from the aircraft and, ideally, the aircraft and the crew remain safe. So, when applied to life in general, cut sling load is used to describe a situation in which you must must release something in order to save something else, presumably of greater value.

As the title proclaims, I plan to discuss the issue of infidelity in marriage as it relates to money. I sat down with a husband/father for a strategy planning session not long ago here in my office. He was at his wits end. He worked 60-80 hours a week at a good paying job and felt as though he did not have much to show for his efforts.

His wife of over twenty years, who also held down a decent job, could not, he said, control her spending. He felt as though a large portion of the fruits of his labor were being drained to pay down credit cards for purchases and trips he never agreed to fund. He was suspicious that his wife had pawned the title to their daughter’s car in an effort to cover some of the spending. What’s more, this was not the first period of their marriage in which she took a nose dive off the financial deep end.

As I listened, it struck me that his wife was exhibiting addictive personality behaviors. Addiction issues can be lethal in a marriage. We all think of drugs and alcohol, but any behavior for which one can’t control their impulses can be just as harmful. Here’s a good article on being financially unfaithful:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane-l-danois-jd/financial-infidelity-can-_b_3091991.html

Ultimately, if taken to the extreme, this type of addictive behavior can lead the family into bankruptcy or worse. The bottom line is that it comes down to trust and how much instability one can stand. As spouses, you promise to be faithful, not only with regard to intercourse with with someone else, but also with regard to how each of you expend the family’s resources. If counseling and therapy fail, contact me. I will help you develop a plan to sever the connections and save the vessel. Call me at (251)445-0891 or email me at ron@mcbaylaw.com

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